Race to the altar

Many turn on the television to watch reality shows that incorporate marriage into the equation, which cause many to question - when does the script end and reality begin?

Engagement and marriage are natural steps people take in real life, yet reality shows cash in on couples' journey to matrimony, causing many to question the sanctity – and authenticity.

"I've noticed with The Bachelor and The Bachelorette almost always never ending up staying together which is odd because it's a dating show," said Audra Wehner, senior.

Others watch these shows with a wary mind, understanding that reality show romances are not really "real." Instead, people watch them for the pure enjoyment, knowing the difference between real life and reality television.

"Reality television couples are just that - TV couples. Not saying that there isn't some foundation of attraction and liking for one another, but it's almost impossible for the people involved in those relationships to not get caught up in the cameras and lights," said Julia Truax, senior.

A real life wedding is supposed to be a sacred event that usually does not include many of the antics shown on television. Traditionally, marriage is supposed to last "until death do us part."

"It doesn't say if there are good times and if there are bad times. It says ‘in.' So when you wake up and say ‘thank you God for this wonderful gift' or when you wake up and say ‘dear God what have I done?'" said Father Don Williams. "In the good days and the bad, you keep loving and forgiving and keep working at that."

Many believe that reality shows portray a false sense of what marriage really is, and people should not make the same mistakes that the reality show couples fall victim to.

"I'm not a big fan of reality shows portrayal of marriage. Most important thing is two people who are committed to each other. And marriage is work," said Williams. "It is a blessed union but it requires sacrifice."

Williams believes that couples can watch what is on television and adapt it to real life. It is important not only to look to television, but to family and friends to see how they keep their relationships flourishing for guidance.

"The encouragement would be you can watch the reality shows and try to find what's the lesson, what's it that is working in the relationship in the reality shows that is most helpful to me," said Williams.

Real life engaged couple, Truax and Matt Leighow, '11, do not rely on reality shows for guidance in maintaining their relationship, but they keep it simple with classic, time-tested strategies.

"A big thing with Matt and I is open communication. Lord knows we've had our share of tiffs, but we've always been able to overcome them by having an honest discussion about whatever the problem may have been," said Truax.

Truax and her fiancé are high school sweethearts and plan on having a winter-themed wedding December 1, 2012. Truax believes that marriage should last longer than a season on the E! Channel. "I mean, you can look at the track record: Nick and Jessica, the Gosselins, Britney and K-Fed, now Kris and Kim. And how many Bachelor/Bachelorette couples have survived a year? Maybe three?" said Truax.

Truax and others believe couples should take time to learn about one another before stepping into marriage, but also believe that it is their own decisions on what they plan to do next.

"If they have something special and have a great marriage it shouldn't matter if other people get married and then are divorced shortly after. I do feel like some people jump into marriage quickly though and don't think things through or get to know a person before saying ‘I do,'" said Wehner.

Williams said a trend among young people is to make a decision to stay together—but with the omission of the ring.

"I think culturally it would seem that there's a movement not to get married, the thought that you don't have to be married just live together and share your life," said Williams. "Our hopes as a church is that people will take the call to marry love seriously and look forward to a life of happiness and fulfillment even in midst of the challenges."

Many young couples are pressured into having storybook weddings comparable to those seen on reality TV. The economic reality makes competing with Kim Kardishian's spectacle next to impossible. "Your wedding day is one of the happiest days of your life and will be filled with memories, so couples want to look back on their wedding and remember great things about it," said Wehner. "Of course everyone wants a lavish wedding worth millions of dollars in decorations, the location and dress, but for the average person that's just not possible."

Real life couples have a bounty of advice for reality couples who struggle to keep their relationships alive on television.

"Don't get your own TV show! Take time for yourself and for each other. Embrace the little things and never forget what it was that had drawn you together in the first place," said Truax.